Men leaving wives for Asian Women
83The Observation
Asia, especially Japan can be a dangerous place for married couples from the west. Many couples arrive here happily and in many situations the wife has been known to go home alone. The reason for this is that the husband/boyfriend in may cases has found an interest in something or somebody else, something new, something he finds attractive and willing to take a chance with. Being in Japan for over a decade it is very easy to observe this unfortunate pattern, although this is not the case for every body. The reason I say Japan is because of the large number of expats coming over here with families on their 1-3 year assignments. As part of my job I handle the air/sea shipment logistics of their removals so I know who is who. E.g. Mr. Smith comes to Japan in 2008 with his family and then we move his family back out to the US with separate containers for him and his wife in 2011. We will probably be moving him an his new Japanese wife back out to the US in a couple years.
Why Japanese Women?
Even after being here for over a decade, I can still say the Asian women are a very attractive race. Asian Women are not all westerners' cup of tea however the majory of foreign men I know who live in Japan do find a high percentage of Japanese attractive. Not to say that western and women of other races are not attractive but foreign men do often comment on the percentage of attractive women here in Japan.
A second reason is that the majority of Japanese women really make a big effort to look their best on all occasions. Woman back in my country although just as attractive many not feel the need to look their absolute best every single day of the week, whereas many Japanese women do. I must admit I have seen some awesome transformations on the trains seeing the before and after make up. In many case the after make-up looks like a completely different person, sometimes bad, sometimes good.
The third reason is due to the cultural background. Although recently changing, Japan is and has always been a very male dominated country, and women grow up with these principles understanding what their role is in society. When a foreigner dates a Japanese women he immediately notices the traditional housewife type of service he gets from day one. The feeling of being treated with importance, the feeling of being served upon with a constant smile. Not that this is anything better than being with a western woman however most western men in Japan fall weak at the knees for this. A few years down the line married with kids and western men realize that there is actually no difference at all.
How do Japanese men feel?
The Asian men, Japanese in this case feel no way threatened at all. They say that many foreigners have a strange taste in women and tend to date the ones that Japanese men have no interest in. I have heard this a number of times and I must admit there is some truth in it. Japanese women who are too ugly to date Japanese men, go to foreigners is very incorrect, however there are many Japanese women who have physical attributes which Japanese men do not find attractive and they are dating foreigners. In many cases I am able to point out the type of Japanese women who would date foreigners, and can even advise my friends "What about her?". These certain type of women although attractive would have difficultly having relationships with local Japanese men and tend to turn to foreigners.
I know very few foreigners who have dated/married your typical "gyaru" type Japanese women, with the ridiculously high heels, multiple brand bags, caked on make-up, 4-5cm false eyelashes, blond hair and weird color contacts lenses. These types seem to be reserved for the Japanese men.
Recently there have actually been a lot of marriages between Japanese man and foreign women. Not just women in the entertainment business looking to get a Visa, professional western women are interested in Japanese men.
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This is very surprising. I had never heard of men actually leaving their wives for an Asian woman while overseas. What a blow for those women who left their friends and family behind to follow their man! Good article. Very informative.
Diogenes, LOL I understand you very much, a lot of western guys think the same not all Britsh women tho.
Prairieprincess, This is all too common here in Japan. It's a shame. I've know guys personally who have come here with there wives from back home. They act they are serious, faithfull and commited but I know they are struggling !!!
O sure
*Sigh* Asian women are very beautiful, the point about how grew up and their views and what not really make a lot of sense.Really original idea for a hub, thanks for sharing:]
Jennuhlee, thanks. Simply my observations from living here so long.
I feel this is really funny. If you in true love, I don't think any level of attractiveness can take you away from the person you love. You find a person attractive because you love her and not the other way round.
@nested dolls - Well that's what most people think. But how many married couples relationships are actually true love 100%.
Expects come to Asia, expecting, new, country, new job, new lifestyle.
Finding someone attractive is not just a physical attribute. It also depends on the level of treatment and importance/respect that you find in that person. In the female dominated, feminist oriented western culture, men have been wussied to ash. It just takes too much work to jump through stupid hoops just to win a woman and to maintain the relationship. Asian women are brought up to know the difference in men and women and their ROLES in life. Anytime you invert or reverse a structured agenda, it is chaos, which is what we see in the western world, the US and Britain. Look at the divorce rate. 90 percent of it is caused and initiated by the high strung, egoistical and selfish women with the incentives of alimony, custody of the children and child support from the dope smoking judges, why wouldn't they be bitches?
I have lived in Asia before and you hardly see a woman raise her voice at or talk disrespectfully at any man, even when the man is being a jerk. They maintain their composure and feminity and rather walk, not stump away. Those same asian women who come here to the US become like the ones here, why? the system...
I am divorced from a goddamn psycho bitch who is a control freak. Tantrums, nagging and sarcasm is how she controls everything. I dont' even see my paycheck, she controls the money too. I came home to an empty house, her parents being the same control freaks, came to our house, berated and insulted me because their daughter is unhappy, packed everything and took my wife and daughters 3000 miles away, filed for separation, 1800 dollars child support and no visitation for me. I have been the best dad you can imagine, my daughter won't' eat or sleep till dad comes home. I shower her, eat with her, put her to sleep among a lot of other things, I make twice as much as my ex but I haven't seen my children in two years except on skype which started 4 months ago because the judge ordered it. Computer is broke so no skype but the day it was ordered, it started working. I find money besides the full child support being garnished from my check to go see my children and she won't let me see them on arrival except supervised, when she has no reason to do so. she has the childrens passports. She and her family stole my private documents and passports from my house in my absence. visiting my children for just 5 days in a hotel costs me not less than 1800 dollars, in addition to the full child support and daycare and medical expenses. They gave her half of my retirement on top of hers, saddled me with all the mortgage on the house we both own, which is now in the negative. This is just the tip of the iceberg in the story. I am getting angry even writing this.
So sure, i will go for a woman who doesn't cut me down as a man, in a heartbeat. SMH!
There is beauty in every race. You must really see the person not for just who they want you to see but the person that's beneath it all. Just like a woman can't change a man, a country can't change a woman. There can only be an influence that's it...
@diogenes - Well if we're going to play the generalisation game, here's some food for thought. British men are fat, ugly, lazy, ignorant, sexist and most of them spend their days jerking off while watching porn morning, noon and night and then wonder why their wives/girlfriends leave them. The older ones think it's their God given right to chase after girls young enough to be their daughters for sex which is just disgusting. The age gaps between the men and the girls is bordering on paedophilia. And @amalowze, maybe in the 50s and 60s women would stand there and tolerate the rantings of some utter jerk but not anymore. Women have been fed up for YEARS by the way men have treated them and spoken to them. Why should we listen respectfully to a total ***hole? I mean seriously? Maybe you'd prefer it if we flounced off shaking our sexy asses at you while tottering around on high heels. Would that soften the blow? The misogny on here is hilarious.
I agree Generalization can be a bit insulting, however most western guys here do find, Asian women more attractive. However that seems to the oppinion of many guys new to Japan and are looking for a change that's all, they want something different. Japanese women are all about trying to look the best, clothes, figure, hair, make, girliness. It's like competition. They may appear to be more attractive overall (the J-girl image), but physicaly they are no more attractive than any other race.
I didn't mention in the article but once these foreigners get married to their Japanese (dream girls), and have children, all that bull Sh*t that the Japanese women put up with during the dating period, suddenly comes to an end. The relationship becomes difficult since they are not used to the confrontation (which would be normal back in the UK), and they want out and come running back to the US or UK or wherever.
diogenes Level 7 Commenter 8 months ago
I could speak for the US as I lived there for several years, but I will confine my remarks to Britain.
I would not be surprised a jot if a British man left his UK wife for an Asian. British women are selfish, hectoring, degenerate and ugly! No wonder many from here find love overseas. Bob